I wasn’t quite sure what I was getting myself into. “Yeah, a little safari walk. A nice touristy thing to do while here at Chitwan National Park in Nepal. But then I read in the guidebook. “Safari walks come with real risks.” What had I signed myself up for? Oh well, I was paid and committed.

Here are the inherent dangers of walking through the jungles of Chitwan:

Crocodiles: A certain species can grow up to 7 meters in Nepal. A month ago, a fisherman here was caught by surprise and brought down under, so to speak. Monsoon season is the most dangerous time because there is water everywhere so the animals come less to the river to drink.

Rhinos: Rhinos will charge if protecting their young or if they feel threatened. What do you do if one charges? Look to climb a tree. If you can’t climb it, hide behind it. If there are no trees nearby, run in zigzags (rhinos have poor sight) and throw a bag or something in front of it to distract it.

Sloth bears: These guys are like teenagers on their iPhones when they get engrossed in digging for termites, and they just might not realize you are there until you are right upon them. In this instance they will either run, or charge at you. What can you do: get into a large group so that the animal thinks you are a bigger threat than they are.

Wild elephants. Only one male elephant can win the heart of the herd. So the rest of the males wander the jungle irritated and full of hormones looking to cause a fight. Every year villagers loose their lives as these trunky beasts scramble through the streets. What can you do? Run for dear life!

Bengal tigers: Rarely seen, but a women in a nearby village was attacked last week. They are nocturnal and, according to the guidebook, they are a hundred times more likely to detect your presence that you are in detecting theirs. What can you do if you encounter one? Make eye contact slowly backing away.

Guides are only allowed to enter the park with bamboo sticks. Yeah, good luck. A bamboo stick against a Bengal tiger? You might as well replace the sticks with milkshake straws. Somehow, they had no problem with me bringing my hiking polls into the park – the preferred weapon of the American trekking ninja.

We started the morning floating down the river in a canoe dugout of a cottonwood tree. We saw four crocodiles, two rhinos, and an array of birdlife.

After getting out on shore, my main guide made it clear what to do in the event that we came across one of these animals. Then he showed me tiger tracks made the night before.

Trekking through the jungle is unlike getting lost in the woods in northeast America. You don’t get lost in your thoughts. You stay quite vigilant and use your senses to your utmost ability.

Every few minutes my guide would stop, look, and listen. Then we would carry on. We saw a number of deer species, easy pray for tigers. We also saw tiger tracks, and bear feces and holes dug out by bears. I saw plant life like I never dreamed existed. One such plant closes up when you touch it. Not a venus fly trap, but one that instantaneously collapses on contact and then opens up again after a minute or so after the danger is gone. Elephant grass twenty-five feet high. And other vegetation used to cure stomach problems.

After our second break, we walked along a watery area where we heard splashing and came upon a rhino not more than twenty-five yards away. It knew we were there and he put his ears up to detect the danger. My two guides and I had joined in numbers with another group and were a solid nine now. My guide turned to us and said, “If it starts to charge us, make lots of noise.” Oh. Ok. Great. The rhino, frozen, appeared not sure what to do. Suddenly, it darted up the opposite bank and with it, another rhino, before unseen, followed. They both fled our company. I was happy.

In a short while, we canoed across the river to safety.

We walked back into town and I watched the elephants receive their daily bath in the river. You can pay to sit on the elephant’s back and the trainers will provoke the elephants to take a trunk-full of water and spray you. I watched as a couple of Japanese tourists got the wet treatment. A bath sounded nice. However, I preferred the shower back at my hotel.  But not before some dahl for lunch, which the locals eat with their hands, but tourists eat with a spoon.

Soon it began to rain, and I retreated to my bungalow for a nap.

I awoke around  2 PM ready to tackle the next part of the day.  A young German woman and I took a jeep out to the the elephant site and rode the elephants back through the buffer zone of the park. We were joined by a young Nepali family who joked, laughed, ate Pringles, and took “selfies” (a word that has made it into the Nepali vocabulary) throughout the entire hour and a half tour. No rhinos were seen this time, but a large amount of deer.

The night culminated with a beer and some veggie fried rice at the acoustic restaurant across the street where I ended up speaking a good deal of Spanish with a couple from Alicante, Spain.

It is on to Pokhara tomorrow after three nights here, which included a nice three-and-a-half hour bike ride yesterday on the outskirts of the park.

An elephant and its passengers makes its way across the river, the boundary to the national park

No, not an eaten tourist. Just a 10 minute rest break. Just yonder and out of site, a rhino splashes through the wetlands.