It’s been twelve weeks to the day since my parents drove up to Millinocket, Maine to pick me up after I finished my thru-hike of the Appalachian Trail.

Despite having constant things to have to look forward to the last few months, I missed the trail, or at least the way the trail made me feel. Every day had a purpose – the same one – get up and walk as far as you can. Then get up the next day and do the same thing. The local Penobscot Indians named the mountain that serves as the terminus of the trail Mt. Katahdin “The Greatest Mountain.” It was a god to them. Anyone who went near the mountain could be struck down by the mountain’s spirit.

Mt. Katahdin may have been no less of a god to me, for it was the reason I got up in the morning every single day. I was obsessed with reaching its top in order to put an end to the weeks on weeks, months on months of physical ordeal, and to complete my thru-hike of the AT.

Many of my fellow hikers had plans for themselves after they finished. I did not have definitive plans. And I sort of liked it that way. Nothing existed to me outside the trail. But I had heard worrisome tales of finishers who found themselves struggling “post” thru-hike. There are even some in the past who had ended their lives, including Kristen’s brother’s friend. That was very alarming to me.

And so it was with much trepidation that I tried to find myself post-hike. I was afraid of depression, I was afraid of gaining the weight back all too quickly. I was afraid of being afraid.

I tried to find another purpose, one like the trail that would be all-encompassing. I envy sometimes people with a strong faith in God, those who decide to live their lives in his order and his care and carry out his will. Would I ever find a god I could believe in as powerful as Katahdin?

I met a guy out eating at a bar the night I finished my thru-hike in Millinocket, Maine. He was up in the area doing some hiking. In fact, he had quite an outdoor resume and somehow we got to talking about Aconcagua, the highest peak in South America. He was trying to put a team together to do it and he had all the arrangements set, or so he told me.

More hiking was sort of the last thing I wanted to think about at the time. But over a month later, I reached out to him. I started training again (or a least made an attempt to not get out of shape too quickly).

I was determined to go on that climb and to reach the highest peak in South America. I booked a flight to Santiago in late November for after New Years. But in the coming weeks of emails back and forth with this potential hiking partner, my confidence waned about the situation and I told him that I was unable to do the hike.

In some ways it was a relief. Aconcagua is a serious mountain, one that would have provided the potential for physical dangers, and I was having a hard time staying in thru-hiker shape. And even if all went well and my partner came through as he said he would, I would have been out well over 3000 dollars.

But I still had my plane ticket to Santiago. And now here I am. I arrived yesterday. For the next two weeks, I will be brushing up my Spanish with classes in a coastal town called Vina Del Mar outside of Valparaiso. I have plans to get to Patagonia and do some more outdoor stuff. Hopefully I can make it all the way to the tip of South America. I also have extended family connections in Córdoba, Argentina. And hopefully in the next few months I can put my mind at ease and find a teaching job for next school year!

I already miss home. But I suppose I have learned to deal with those first few days of homesickness to a certain extent.

So here’s to an unknown future, which persuades one to hold on more tightly to the present.

– – –

For the record, in the past twelve weeks I have had a series of mini adventures. Here’s a run down of where I’ve been and the highlight of each:

Phippsburg, Maine – catching up with my folks

Groveland, Massachusetts – catching up with my brother Darge, his wife Kristen, and their kids Avery and Parker

Connecticut – going to a Uconn football game, catching up with my brother Tom, his wife Tammy, and their two kids Kelly and Annika. Catching up with my best friend Craig, his wife Ruth, and their four kids Nate, Sam, Owen, and Anna. Catching up quickly with my friend Jared, his wife Leah and their daughter Ellie

Madison, Wisconsin – attending the University of Wisconsin versus Nebraska football game

Denver, Colorado – visiting cousin Nate

Boulder Colorado – visiting cousin Kyle, attending the Colorado vs. UCLA game, hiking up into the mountains, visiting the small town of Nederland

Fort Collins, Colorado – attending the Colorado St. vs Fresno St. game

Chicago, Illinois – walk along Lake Michigan

Charlottesville, Virginia – hanging with Kristen on and off between November 8th and December 31st, UVA basketball games

Pennsylvania – attending a friend of Kristen’s wedding, Thanksgiving with the Egans.

Philadelphia with Kristen’s brother and sister in law Brian and Meridith, and their baby Connor

Richmond, Virginia – seeing my sister Mary and Jeff

Washington DC – National Council for Social Studies Conference, walking the National Mall (twice in a month)

Dyke, Virginia – dinner with Jo, Bill, and Jon

Cincinnati, Ohio – visiting cousin Darren, his wife Pili, and their kids Elizabeth and Matthew

Charlotte, North Carolina – visiting Kristen’s good friend Sarah, her husband Steve, and meeting up with her good friend Tara

Asheville, North Carolina – wedding of Kristen’s friend

Raleigh, North Carolina – visiting my good friend Brian, his wife Bonnie, and their kids Toni, Eliot, and Lena

Concord, Massachusetts – family party with cousins

Groveland, Massachusetts – family Christmas

Newport, Rhode Island with the Campbells for Owen Campbell’s hockey tournament

Avon, Connecticut with Tom’s family

Perkasie, Pennsylvania with Kristen and her family for New Years

Charlottesville and Richmond again!

Apologies for having no pictures of my mini adventures. They are saved on a flash drive so I’ll have to add them at a later date.